Since transformers by their nature are bi-directional, the selection of the primary side totally depends on your input voltage and desired output voltage.
The transformer you describe likely has multiple taps on the "primary" side, may have multiple windings on the "primary" side and likely has multiple windings on the secondary side. Start with a low range DMM, and check for continuity between different leads on each side of the transformer. Once you have mapped continuity, check resistance between the same leads. You should be prepared for the transformer to be as complex as this:
The "secondary" side may be a single coil with multiple taps, or it may have multiple outputs more like the above example.
Once you've reverse-engineered the coil arrangement, you'll need to determine the turns ratio between each set of coils. I would NOT recommend your 120VAC test for this. Start with a much lower (and safer) voltage. Find a small "wall-wart" type power supply that you can sacrifice. The lower the output voltage the better. You want it just for its transformer, not the rectification and regulation components, so if you can find an AC-output wall-wart, you can use it's output as-is. What you want is a low voltage AC source that you can use to test individual windings. Note that applying a low voltage AC source to the "secondary" may result in lethal voltages on the "primary", so be careful!
Find one set of windings to apply your AC input to, and measure the resulting output on each set of coils and on each tap. Transformers are ratiometric, so the relative voltages will be the same using your low voltage AC test vs. when you identify the intended primary winding and apply 115VAC to it.
Doing this, you should have a good sense as to what windings are present that the relative turns ratio between each. Good luck!
Best Answer
The white part is a JST connector, plugged into a JST socket. To separate them, you simply need to gently pull the two connectors apart.
I've highlighted the two different bits of the connector that will separate (plug in green, socket in red):
When trying to unplug them, do not pull on the cables. If you pull on the cables, you will either damage the metal contacts (crimps) in the connector, or dislodge the cables.
Instead you should try to use a small flat head screwdriver (e.g. jewellers screwdriver) to gently pry the two connectors apart. You should be able to pry between the lip of the plug highlighted green.