Jeff, I disagree, load balancing does not imply redundancy, it's quite the opposite in fact. The more servers you have, the more likely you'll have a failure at a given instant. That's why redundancy IS mandatory when doing load balancing, but unfortunately there are a lot of solutions which only provide load balancing without performing any health check, resulting in a less reliable service.
DNS roundrobin is excellent to increase capacity, by distributing the load across multiple points (potentially geographically distributed). But it does not provide fail-over. You must first describe what type of failure you are trying to cover. A server failure must be covered locally using a standard IP address takeover mechanism (VRRP, CARP, ...). A switch failure is covered by resilient links on the server to two switches. A WAN link failure can be covered by a multi-link setup between you and your provider, using either a routing protocol or a layer2 solution (eg: multi-link PPP). A site failure should be covered by BGP : your IP addresses are replicated over multiple sites and you announce them to the net only where they are available.
From your question, it seems that you only need to provide a server fail-over solution, which is the easiest solution since it does not involve any hardware nor contract with any ISP. You just have to setup the appropriate software on your server for that, and it's by far the cheapest and most reliable solution.
You asked "what if an haproxy machine fails ?". It's the same. All people I know who use haproxy for load balancing and high availability have two machines and run either ucarp, keepalived or heartbeat on them to ensure that one of them is always available.
Hoping this helps!
Best Answer
Your provider's an idiot. They should give you one server name to plug into your MTA and do their own load balancing. I'd be inclined just to throw one name into my
relayhostdirective and be done with it. You could define a local name with the A records of all your provider's machines (taken from resolving the names they've given you), but it makes no sense to have to do so, because every time your provider decides to add more servers to their cluster you have to make a config change.