New answer, powershell

TCP

Get-Process -Id (Get-NetTCPConnection -LocalPort YourPortNumberHere).OwningProcess

UDP

Get-Process -Id (Get-NetUDPEndpoint -LocalPort YourPortNumberHere).OwningProcess

Old answer, cmd

 C:\> netstat -a -b

(Add -n to stop it trying to resolve hostnames, which will make it a lot faster.)

Note Dane's recommendation for TCPView. It looks very useful!

-a Displays all connections and listening ports.

-b Displays the executable involved in creating each connection or listening port. In some cases well-known executables host multiple independent components, and in these cases the sequence of components involved in creating the connection or listening port is displayed. In this case the executable name is in [] at the bottom, on top is the component it called, and so forth until TCP/IP was reached. Note that this option can be time-consuming and will fail unless you have sufficient permissions.

-n Displays addresses and port numbers in numerical form.

-o Displays the owning process ID associated with each connection.

UDP is actually expected to work better than TCP in lossy networks (or congested networks). TCP is far better at transferring large quantities of data, but when the network fails it's more likely that UDP will get through. (in fact, I recently did a study testing this and it found that SNMP over UDP succeeded far better than SNMP over TCP in lossy networks when the UDP timeout was set properly). Generally, TCP starts behaving poorly at about 5% packet loss and becomes completely useless at 33% (ish) and UDP will still succeed (eventually).

So the right thing to do, as always, is pick the right tool for the right job. If you're doing routine monitoring of lots of data, you might consider TCP. But be prepared to fall back to UDP for fixing problems. Most stacks these days can actually use both TCP and UDP.

As for sending TRAPs, yes TRAPs are unreliable because they're not acknowledged. However, SNMP INFORMs are an acknowledged version of a SNMP TRAP. Thus if you want to know that the notification receiver got the message, please use INFORMs. Note that TCP does not solve this problem as it only provides layer 3 level notification that the message was received. There is no assurance that the notification receiver actually got it. SNMP INFORMs do application level acknowledgement and are much more trustworthy than assuming a TCP ack indicates they got it.